Friday, March 3, 2012
We received the phone call at 9am from Dr. Bayliss. He confirmed that we are definitely having a baby girl. At this point, I know I stopped breathing because I knew what was coming next was something I didn’t want to hear. He confirmed she does have an extremely rare and extremely severe chromosomal abnormality that occurs in 1:5000 babies. She has Trisomy 13. Every single cell in her body has an extra 13th chromosome. This diagnosis explains the brain, the heart, and the eye issues. He explained most Trisomy 13 babies are very small at birth…if we even make it that far. Some make it to term and can live up to one year. Some die in utero. Some pass during the labor process. We won’t know what the outcome of our baby will be until we know, essentially. We will carry her for as long as we are able. I’ll labor and give birth to her, and maybe we’ll be able to spend a few minutes, hours, or days with her before she passes. We’ll still wake up and put hands on my belly and feel her move every morning. We’ll watch my belly grow as she grows, and maybe still God will offer us a miracle.
I mentioned to Chris last night, I don’t know how we emotionally are going to handle the information that we know about our baby girl for the next 4 months. I sometimes wish I didn’t know. I know not knowing wouldn’t make the outcome change, nor would our emotions be any different. In spite of what we know, I really do want to enjoy this pregnancy and the amount of time we get to spend with her from now until… I still want to have a maternity photo shoot at 32 weeks. I still want our friends and family to rub and kiss and sing to my belly. I just want this pregnancy to be normal.