Please forgive me for my very long absence. The month of October was dedicated to Infant Loss Month. On October 15, we participated in The Sweet Pea Project’s 3rd Annual Remembrance Gathering. Bereaved families from the area get together at a local park to remember the babies that were taken from this earth too soon. We released balloons each balloon representing our lost angel babies. Since Sephora was born almost 6 months ago, and the Trisomy 13 took her away from us, we felt experiencing this gathering was something we should definitely be a part of. Again, Chris and I both had the opportunity to write a note to Sephora on paper made from wildflower seeds. We slid the paper into an environmentally friendly balloon which read, “You are loved. You are missed. You are remembered. We filled the balloons with helium and waited for the ceremony to start. When we heard Sephora’s name, we released our balloons that would fly off to the heavens. When our balloons reached their perfect altitude, they will pop, the seeds in the paper will fall to the ground, and wildflowers will bloom where they land. It was a beautiful ceremony. The picture that you see is one taken of me by my husband right after we released one of the balloons. Chris and I watched that balloon fly for as long as we could see until our eyes hurt and the balloon slowly disappeared from our sights.
The other day, I was repacking all of Sephora’s belongings into a sturdy container. It was a very humbling moment as I shifted everything around, because I started to remember her. At that moment, I was sad because I’ve gone on with my life. It made me realize how much I actually didn’t remember about her until I looked through all of her memorabilia. Even having her photos all over the house, until I take a few minutes to reflect and really search my soul for how I feel, I feel as though she isn’t part of my every day process. I’m told this is very normal. It is just very disconcerting to think I’ve forgotten about her beautiful life in some ways. I realize I still need to connect with those that read her story in this blog, so that I may continue to heal, and in some way have my own connection back to her.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 –Hope!
“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.”