Written in March 2013
I’ve been doing a lot of reflection during this pregnancy. Even though being sad comes along with the grieving process, I’m grateful for the sadness and tears, and I embrace them whole heartedly. Sephora would have been 10 months old this month. Some days it feels as though her pregnancy and her life never existed. It is in the moments of the sadness, that I’m able to relive the day of her birth. In those moments, I’m reminded of how real she was and how beautiful and perfect her precious life was as well.
Tomorrow, 32 weeks 3 days, was the exact gestation that I was diagnosed with the HELLP syndrome, which determined Sephora’s birthday. What crazy about this, is I feel completely different! I never realized how sick I actually was at this point in my pregnancy with Sephora. Today, my ankles are skinny. I have gained half the amount of weight now that I had with Sephora, because I’m not retaining the amount of fluid that had built up with her as well. Please don’t misunderstand me. I loved every second that I got to spend with our precious little Sephora Angeline. Because I’m not sick during this pregnancy, I’m enjoying our precious little Miles even more! With just under 2 months until Miles makes his appearance, I am embracing and welcoming the grief that I feel today.