Capturing Your Grief, Day 2: Identity

The month of October is used to remember many important things in our lives.  We mention awareness to Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer, but one that is not mentioned very often is Infant Loss Awareness.  There are many reasons for a baby’s passing that we’ll never fully understand.  For the month of October, I choose to celebrate my beautiful rainbow baby, and also remember our precious little girl who never got to come home–Sephora Angeline.  Our “Beautiful Angel.”

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Sephora Angeline…Her name came from my husband.  We were walking around our local mall, and passed a large make-up store called “Sephora.”  He looked at me with a large twinkle in his eye.  I knew he had instantly fallen in love with the name.  I, on the other hand, was not in love with it.  One day, before leaving the house, he screamed her name from the bathroom…”Sephora Angeline!  Get down here!!!”  He poked his head around the corner with delight and said, “See baby!  It sounds great!  Even when she’s in trouble!”  From that day on, I had fallen in love with it.

Sephora’s birth was quite unexpected, although we knew she wouldn’t live very long, due to the Trisomy 13 diagnosis.  She was delivered via emergency c-section at 32 weeks, 3 days due to me developing a severe case of pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome.  She weighed 3lbs, 9oz and was 16 inches long.  She had dark brown, curly hair.  12 fingers.  10 toes.  She was tiny, but perfect!

Psalms 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

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